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Hit It From the Back

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Dusting the Cobwebs Off. [07 Mar 2007|03:55pm]

chrisomatic
This thing hasn't had a post on it since last year! And I am effing bored at work. So here's a participatory post for those who wanna take part.

Name 5 celebs/sublebs currently living and not from your original list who you wanna boff:

1. Scott Caan. I am not sure why he wasn't on my original list. I must've been high on marker fumes or something. I am sure he is dumb as a bucket of Britney's shaven hair but God. Fucking. Damn. It. I want that man inside me. Ass-pounding, sweat-dripping, name-saying, hair-pulling, throat-choking sex with Mr. Caan, please.

2. Joel McHale - host of E! TV's "The Soup": This is a guilty pleasure one since I have to admit how me and my boyfriend watch this show every week. And yeah, it's funny, but it's mainly due to lust of Joel McHale. He's got a bit of a dorky side but then there's also the witty/snarky/sarcastic side. Plus there's some chest hair pokin' out from all those stylish button-downs, which always gets me going. I want to just hang out under his desk and service him for hours at a time. I have a feeling he's a moaner.

3. Konstantin Khabensky: He was the star of the genius movie Nightwatch which shou;d be a mega-blockbuster hit in America like it is in it's native Russia. His hotness kind of crept up on me as the movie progressed but by the end I wanted to just be tucked in some dark, dingy alleyway having sweaty, frenzed, clothes-half-off sex with him while he dirty-talked me in Russian.

4. Leonard Roberts: Yes I watch "Heroes". And yeah, he was on "Buffy" which I also watched but back then I couldn't stand him. Maybe cuz his character was such an arrogant, douchebag asshole. But on "Heroes" he has this combination of anger, sweetness towards his son and wife and (most importantly) superhuman abilities - the biggest turn-on of them all. Plus, hello, totally bald. *groan* I wanna rub my balls all over his freshly shaven-head like it was my job to do so. And his ass? I'd wear it as a face-mask. It'd be tender but rough and if he felt like spanking me a few dozen times I would not protest in the least.

5. Patrick Warburton: He is a man-mountain and I've got my hiking boots, backpack and a sack of trail mix. His hair is cheesey and his voice is even cheesier but honestly I could care less. The picture I liked to of him the cop uniform is like insta-boner, It'd be a total Daddy/Boy situation with me obeying his every whim. With the uniform, please, dear Jeebus.

Okay, your turn!
3 comments|post comment

Attention: hot snatch coming through! [22 Nov 2006|03:49pm]

chrisomatic
I was clearly high, retarded and brain-inuured when I made my original list to join up here and left out Paul Rudd. Because seriously? I want him in a way that makes my salivatory glands go into over drive and my pants tighten 3 sizes too small. I would do everything to that guy. Seriously. And he, in turn, could do everything to me. Like if he was all "Lick my feet, Chriso" I'd be shrimping those toes faster than you could blink. And I am so not into feet. And this lust has been with me for awhile. But then the following photo came out in an issue of Rolling Stone and I nearly dropped the fuck dead:




Need I say more?
1 comment|post comment

[18 Oct 2006|04:34pm]

couldbehanan
Read more...Collapse )
11 comments|post comment

large image warning and not particularly work safe [17 Sep 2006|10:15pm]

yoella
Rafael VergaCollapse )

vs

Alexandre VergaCollapse )
12 comments|post comment

[13 Sep 2006|09:19pm]

kafkawastherage
oh yeah, I can cross one off of my list. so weird.
3 comments|post comment

app [23 Apr 2006|02:36am]

sammysmasher13
play it againCollapse )
13 comments|post comment

tumbleweeds [15 Dec 2005|12:53pm]

chrisomatic
Wow, this place has been deader than Joan Cusack's career. What do people think of the idea of doing a "The Next 20" list? Y'know, who would be the next 20 people on your fantasy fuck list if you had to keep going? C'mon, don't make me spend all 8 of my work hours actually working.

I'll start working on my next 20 if you do.
6 comments|post comment

[19 Nov 2005|11:28pm]

schwarzes_herz
Half of you already know this, because you're on my f-list, but I seriously want to throw down the gloves with this fine Nordic hockey player:

mmmmm... Finns

I'd like to get him between the sheets and give him two minutes for roughing, five for unsportsmanlike conduct, and two for 'high sticking,' if you catch my drift.

He played poorly tonight. I'm going to pretend it's because he's secretly pining for a shy girl with big blue alien eyes, junk in the trunk, and a load of luggage on the rack.
post comment

[21 Oct 2005|05:02pm]

doctorzombie
VH1's 100 Hottest HottiesCollapse )
39 comments|post comment

Ode to a Couch [12 Oct 2005|12:59pm]

yoella
I spent the majority of my summer watching TV shows, which is surprising because I don't actually own a television set. It's all about downloading and renting DVDs anyway. So this has brought about the need for

The Hump You Crew App, TV Edition!


I started writing this on the first, but i've been busy, etc... Where the character names are used over the actors', I consider the fictional personality integral to the fantasy.

Picture Heavy and barely NWSCollapse )
30 comments|post comment

For paperbirds [07 Sep 2005|09:34pm]

chrisomatic
I found out that I do still have the original, wallpaper-sized version of the hot Wolverine/Hugh Jackman icon you so lust after. So click the picture below and you can have the full (if not life) sized glory for yourself.

Click me!
2 comments|post comment

[03 Sep 2005|02:51pm]

yourmom
this was posted earlier and was turned into an argument and th poster deleted it cuz she can't take th heat and i was b& from her lj(even though i didn't even WANT to harrass her) and it was pathetic but i figured y'all should still see this if you wanna since apparently somebody(ies?) around here likes buck


in response to th poster cuz she likes to respond to me then delete th postCollapse )

have a nice day y'all
24 comments|post comment

Paul Rudd humpage [29 Aug 2005|04:01pm]

chrisomatic
I want to dress as Clueless-era Alicia Silverstone and have faux-incestous, step-sibling sex with Paul Rudd. The long blonde wig I'd have on would be really convenient for hair pulling while he was hiking up my plaid mini-skirt and plowing me.



P.S. I think I may have to replace someone on my original list with him. Namely one Will Schwartz, formerly of the indie band Imperial Teen now of the craptacular, dervitive, 80s wannbe synth-pop "band" Hey Willpower. He basically killed the boner I had for him.
2 comments|post comment

Jeremy Piven [26 Aug 2005|09:44am]

agreatnotion
I found this picture yesterday and creamed my panties.

It's a little big...Collapse )

This shot is like, "Yes Jeremy, I will tear your pants off, climb on top of you, and ride you all motherfucking night long." Jesus man...
32 comments|post comment

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